Loneliness – I feel so alone sometimes.   I made choices in my life and lately it seems like nothing matters.   Sometimes I feel like I do not matter  to anyone.  It seems that I am only used and I should not feel that way.  I want cuddles, love and attention just like everyone else.  I should not feel this way.  I do not really understand things  that are going on anymore. I am trying and really do not understand most of it all.. I am so lost and confused.   I don’t know sometimes.    I just do not know sometimes any more. I want to cry and so tired of crying my poor eyes hurt so bad from crying.    I should possibly move on and yet I am..  I  care deeply and I love him but I am so tired of being alone and lonely.   I sometimes feel that he is ashamed of me, that he feels the need to hide me. The only time I have met anyone in his Family. I was introduced as his friend. I never met but 2 people in his family. Well 3 and I was introduced as his friend.. I have never met his mom, or any one else in his family. I am not allowed to have pictures any where of us.  None on Facebook,  None on Instagram, No where on the web at all. It kind of makes me curious of what he thinks of me. It is hard for me to ask him because every time I do, he gets annoyed with me.   I feel like I failed at time because it is like he never wants to be seen with me because he is never around me really.. I am always alone and when I do see him it is 10 Minutes to an Hour here and their and honestly I need more..  I need snuggles and cuddles at times. I am human and that is something we all want and need.   I guess that is enough for now before the tears start to fall again.  

Samantha Renee